An interesting news article appeared on the Chinese daily, Lianhe Wanbao, where a divorced Singapore couple went to court so a decision could be made on who their 13 year old son has Chinese New Year Eve Reunion dinner with.
Joint Custody
The couple got married in 1987 and divorced in 2012, 25 years later. Their dispute has been ongoing for a year and a half. They had four children, the eldest of which passed away, and their daughters were able to decide custody as they are no longer minors. Both parents were given Joint Custody of their 13 year old son. He (their 13 year old son) lived with his mother, and spent weekends and year end school holidays with his father.
The Reunion Dinner Dispute
The custody arrangements went on smoothly for several years till the relationship between the parents turned for the worse sometime in 2019.
The mother then appealed to the Court to adjust the terms of the custody, which included a request to allow their son to have reunion dinner with both parents. The custody arrangement allows for the father to spend time with their son during holidays and weekends.
The mother explained that, since the divorce, she has not been able to spend time with her son during the festivities and was hopeful to be able to spend time with him.
Her ex-husband was not ready to give in and was insistent that their son should be with him from the eve of Chinese New Year till the second day of the festive period, and have his reunion dinner with the paternal side of the family.
The ex-husband further mentioned that their son should spend time with other relatives during his developmental years, which his ex-wife is unable to provide since she (the ex-wife) did not include relatives during reunion dinners.
The Ruling
The Family Court ruled that their son should have reunion dinner with both the parents. The Judge went on to specify that on the eve of Chinese New Year their son should have dinner with his mother till 8:30 p.m. and thereafter be handed over to his father. This would allow both parents to spend time with their son on the eve of Chinese New Year.
Dissatisfaction
Both parents were dissatisfied with the ruling and proceeded to appeal to the High Court. The appeal was eventually rejected by the High Court which found nothing wrong with the verdict of the Family Court.
According to news sources, the father was of the impression that his son will not be able to have another meal since he would have a full stomach from his first meal.
Parents Advised by the High Court
The High Court Judge advised both parents to work together amicably, as the deterioration in their relationship hindered their ability to work out a suitable care schedule for their son, and advised the parents to come to a compromise rather than bear the risk of ruining the festive period for their son. The High Court Judge further reiterated that the Court’s responsibility is to protect the interests of the child when making a decision on the time the parents spend with the child.
The Judge emphasized that parents should come to an amicable and peaceful schedule arrangement during holidays and festivities so that the child does not get affected and does not have to spend the festive period feeling unhappy. The appeal by the parents was eventually rejected after consideration.
A note from the Centre for Psychotherapy
Divorced parents should not allow their differences to affect their child. When divorced, parents should work towards an amicable relationship for the sake of their child. Divorce is hard enough on children. If parents find it difficult to maintain an amicable relationship after a divorce, they should consider Counselling and work with a Counsellor for the sake of their Children.
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